Can February March?
No, but April May.
What business never goes ahead?
The stationery business.
How many days belong to a year?
Only 325, because 40 are lent.
Finger-prints were first made by the police about 30 years ago. They are graded into loops, arches and whorls. On a light surface they are made visible by applying powdered graphite, but a preparation of French chalk is used for a dark surface. Scotland Yard holds the record number of finger-prints, and to defeat observation criminals have adopted the use of rubber gloves, but eternal vigilance is the price of safety, and few criminals succeed in keeping on the sunny side of the prison walls.
You can save a lot of time in finding punctures if you place a little bit of washing blue on the outside of your inner tube before inflating the tyre. When a puncture occurs, the blue works out of the hole and easily reveals its position.
Two inches of ice will bear men on foot. Four inches will bear men on horseback. Six inches will bear cattle. Ten inches will withstand a pressure of 1,000 lbs. per sq. ft.
When is an original idea like a clock?
When it strikes one!
How many peas are there in a pint?
Only one, of course.
"Still alive, Bert, I see? " said Gerald. " Yes, sir-yes, sir," replied, the farmer's son, " and I'm going to live another year."
"How do you know that? "
" Why, sir, I allus notice that when I live through the month of October, I live through, the whole year."
A workman digging at Slough has discovered nineteen bronze battle-axes in a perfect state of preservation, although about 4,000 years old. The County Museum at Aylesbury will house these axe-heads, which, according to British Museum officials, were made in a foundry once existing on their site of discovery.
" My hen laid a three-inch egg."
" I've got something that will beat that."
" What is it? "
" An egg-beater."
" You don't 'arf look cold, you don't !
" Oo do? "
" You don't! "
"Where yer going, Bill? "
"Baint going nowhere."
"Yus, yer must be."
"I baint. I be a-coming back."
A boy of 8 should, weigh 4 st. 4 lb. ; of 10, 4 st. 13 lb. ; of 12, 5 st. 9 lb. ; of 14, 6 st. 8 lb.. A man of 5ft. 6in. height should weight 10 st. 5lb. ; of 5ft. 9 in., 11 st. 8 lb. ; of 6 ft. 12 st. 10 lb.
The seven wonders of the ancient world were the Pyramids, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Temple of Diana, the Tomb of Mausolus, the Colossus of Rhodes, the Statue of Jupiter, and the Pharos of Egypt.
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